passenger seat

i have been impressed with the urgency of doing. knowing is not enough; we must apply. being willing is not enough; we must do. -leonardo da vinci

sometimes i think having all the options in the world is harder than having everything planned out.

well, maybe not harder, but there are pros and cons. im getting overwhelmed by my ideas and possibilities. and in the end, i just get sad because i really can’t decide. im the most indecisive person in the world and those who know me well would whole heartedly agree. im kind of a mess in that aspect. i see the good and bad in all situations and possible play outs. and it leaves me staying in one place, unable to move forward.

dont get me wrong, i am happy. i love the way my life is turning out and the weird, random way i took to get here. but lately i’ve been wishing that something would happen. something…big…and meaningful….would rise up out of empty sea of my life and point in a direction. then i would adjust and feel better in my life choices.

but i don’t know. and its that lack of confidence that scares me in all the choices i’m presented with in the next weeks, months, years. id like to think that if there is something i’m meant to do, i’ll do it. but i don’t think life works like that. we take leaps of ideas and choices and if it works, it works. if not, move on and try something else.

i’ve always prided myself on my fly by the seat of my pants attitude and just my love for new things, places and people. but in the past year, i’ve never been in a place long enough to feel comfortable. and just…safe. i don’t want to say im growing out of it. just i’m viewing things differently now. well, starting to at least. my desire to stay and nest is growing stronger. but who knows. i just hope that some of my options are still available when that time comes. if they are even options to begin with.

its hard to remember when it takes such a long time.

downtown minneapolis

he sure was

eugenio recuenco

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